i finnished another for class, here it is;
“Blind Date”
Honest SWF looking for Mr. Right
Seeking Honest, Caring down to earth 30 something
For possible LTR. All other, need not apply.
#27542
Bob Narcolep’s eyes grew large when they landed on the Ad. He had been reading the Person’s for two years, seven months, four days, and thirty-nine minutes to be exact. He was desperate for a date, and more importantly, to get laid. He liked the sound of this Ad because any woman looking for a long term commitment spelled out “Gullible”. He could easily get her in bed, with a few well chosen words, within a few days.
He popped a pill, picked up the phone and punched in the code for the Ad. He made sure to clear his throat before the beep, so he wouldn’t sound weird. First impressions were very important to women. In his message he told her that he was 35 and single, very interested in meeting her for a date and that he hoped she would entertain his offer. After he left his cell number he hung up the phone.
Margo Turret, a few days later, called the Personal Ad’s 800 number to check up on her messages. She put the Ad in last year and no one has ever answered her back. To her amazement, there was one message in her mail box. She almost choked on the pill she had just swallowed. She was tickled that a nice sounded guy wanted to meet with her over dinner. Margo was a lonely girl. A thirty-two year old woman living in an apartment with six cats and two canaries was a pathetic way to live. She needed a man in her life, a new distraction from the every day routines. She jotted down his number and decided to wait until tomorrow to call him back. She didn’t want to sound too eager and scare him away. First impressions were important for men.
Margo was very nervous when she dialed Bob Narcolep’s number. When he picked up the phone, she told him who she was. Bill said he was happy to hear from her. He asked Margo if she would like to meet him for dinner on Saturday evening at his favorite “Upscale” French restaurant. She gracefully accepted. They would meet up at 6:30 in the lobby. She hung up the phone. She grabbed her pills and went to get ready for bed.
Thursday morning, while waiting for her doctor’s appointment, Margo sat in the waiting room and pondered what she was going to wear for the date. She decided that after she got her pills, she would go to the mall and pick out a sexy black dress. Then her mind wandered about what else she might need. She figured if she was going to have a tight little dress on, she would need black garters, stockings, thongs, and a push up bra. Her mind proceeded forward even further with getting her hair done, her nails manicured and polished. She was going to have to take Friday off just to get these things done in time.
Friday afternoon, on his way to the Pharmacy, Bob thought he would stop by the Big & Tall store for a new pair of trousers and a swanky shirt. All of his clothes were out dated from the early eighties. He still owned a red vintage Michel Jackson leather coat and a piano tie. His wardrobe screamed “Looser”. Over the years, he never bought new clothes because he never had any permanent lovers. All of his friends were men who never cared about his fashion sense. Men don’t make impressions.
At 6:29pm Margo floated through the front door of the restaurant in her little black dress. She spent Friday and Saturday getting ready for this date and she was determined to look her best. She kept thinking she had forgotton to do something all day, but she was now confident it was nothing, and she had done everything for this date. There were a few couples sitting and waiting for a table. The men all looked at her and smiled while their dates slapped them back to attention. She looked good, too good, and she knew it. The other ladies knew it to, but she wanted to make sure she didn’t give off any bad impressions.
She told the Maitra de that she was meeting a Bob Narcolep for dinner and they had a 6:30 reservation. She told him she was late. He escorted her to the bar where Bob was sitting. Bob had been waiting at the bar for 20 minutes. He had finished two double scotches and was about to start another when Margo tapped Bob on the shoulder. Bob almost fell off the barstool by the surprise. They greeted one another and shook hands. They both seemed impressed by what they were seeing, judging by the size of their smiles. They were escorted to an elegantly decorated table in the center of the restaurant.
Over candlelight, Bob told Margo about himself. She learned that he was a work at home insurance salesman. He didn’t own a car because he lived in the city, but barrowed one from a friend so he could get there. He told her that he liked Pina Colada, getting caught in the rain, making love at midnight, and sipping Champaign. He was also looking for someone to settle down with, have tons of babies and move to the suburbs. Bob figured that would land him in her bed quickly.
Margo was impressed; she loved what she was hearing. She also told Bob about her life. She majored in speech therapy and was a teacher at the community collage. She was also in charge of the debate team. She liked to work on her scrap book, nit, and play bridge. She was also honestly looking to settle down with a guy and have lots of kids and live in a big white house in the Burb’s.
Margo told Bob she was going to the bathroom and that she would be right back. Margo was holding it through dinner and was about to burst. Before she could sit on the toilet, she had to apply a toilet seat cover. She decided to use four instead for more protection. After she relieved herself quietly, she washed her hands thoroughly. She then took great care powdering her nose. She made sure to take off her lipstick and reapply a fresh coat also. She then realized she needed to get back to the table immediately. She was worried Bob would think she was missing from all the time she spent in the little girl’s room.
When she approached the table, Bob looked odd. His head was tilted back and his mouth was wide open. Everyone’s attention was turned to Bob because he was snoring extremely loud. Margo was confused by this but figured it was because she was in the potty to long. She didn’t want to startle him like she did at the bar, so she waited for Bob to wake up. He gave out a short gurgle and snapped his head back to its upright position. He acted like nothing happened, so she didn’t press him any further.
The waiter came over and asked them if they would like desert. Bob ordered an espresso and a slice of cheese cake. Mago told the waiter she wanted the cocksucker motherfuck dumb shit ass same. The waiters eyes grew huge and so did Bob’s. Everyone’s attention was again on them. Bob and the waiter couldn’t believe it. Bob didn’t know what else to do, except tell the waiter that was all. Bob was speechless while they ate their cake.
Bob helped Margo with her jacket in the lobby. She told Bob what a lovely time she had. He told her the same while he slipped his coat on. He decided to take a chance and ask her if she would like a ride home. She said yes. Bob knew he was closer to getting laid now. He opened the car door for her, waited until she was settled inside, and shut the door. He got in and started up the car. On their way home Bob asked Margo if she would like to meet again next week at the MET. She said she would love to. The rest of the ride they sat and smiled happily. Bob double parked the car and kept it running. He looked into her eyes and gave her that look, “let’s kiss”. She looked back at him with the same look. He leaned over and laid his lips on hers. Margo melted in his arms and took his mouth tenderly. Her whole body wept by the emotional kiss. A few minutes later Margo came up for some air, smiled, and said good night. He did the same. She got out and shut the door. She waved to him as he drove quickly away. She didn’t want this night to end. She couldn’t believe this was happing, so she stepped out into the street to see his car to set her straight. A little ways in the distance, she saw Bob’s car gain more speed, swerve to the left and hit a telephone pole. Margo’s jaw dropped.
She ran as fast as she could until she got to the car. Bob’s friend’s car looked like a dented up can. There was white smoke coming out of the front of the car. Bob looked like he was unconscious. But it dawned on her; he looked the same way that he did in the restaurant. His head was back, resting on the head rest and that snoring sound was coming out of his lungs. Margo finally figured it out, he has serious disease. But she couldn’t remember the name of it. It was right on the tip of her tong, but she could say it. She was mad, mad at the fact that Bob never told her of his illness. He lied to her; he was not honest at all. But he was still hurt and she needed to get him help right away.
She ran over to the pay phone and dialed 9-1-1. It rang three times and then an operator answered. “This is 9-1-1 what is you emergency?” Margo opened her mouth and told the operator there was a car cunt bitch fucking whore slut accident. The operator interrupted what she was about to say next, and told her that is a serious offence to make crank calls to 9-1-1, and hung up the receiver. Margo tried to put the pieces together of what just happened. Then it finally dawned on her, she forgot to take her medication this morning. How was she going to help Bob while she ran around with an active case of Turrets?
