if those of you didnt get the e-mail i sent to everyone:
We were over to our two fat friends’ house yesterday and I never laughed so hard. Sasha and I were playing on two office chairs outside on the driveway. My friend lives on a hill and his driveway also is a hill. Sasha rode the chair down the driveway and then down the hill of the street. When he got back up to the garage, I gave him my friends’ motorcycle helmet to put on and to do it again. Let’s just say he looked like a mental retarded adult with a crash helmet on spiraling out of control down the driveway and street. We all sat there and watch while laughing hysterically. While he left the driveway and washed into the street, a car came down the hill. He slammed on the brakes while his jaw dropped when he saw Sasha continue to gain speed. We were crying at that point. The chair moved to the gutter and flung him out of the chair and into the gutter, slamming his hip into the curb. The guy in the car was still in shock as he came back up to us. We were on the ground holding our stomachs, in tears laughing. The next door neighbors’ kids were with us and when he got back up, they wanted to do it. Even though the mother and father were with us in the laughing fit, they tried to tell their kids “That was bad and that they should never do it”
So, we were going to go back and get it on tape. We want to make a short commercial like the ones that have scooters for sale for the elderly. Same idea, but with Sasha in his crash helmet barreling down the hill screaming “My son-in-law never got me a Hover Scooter.” Don’t let this happen to your loved one!

Professor Greg Sotzing of the University of Connecticut at Storrs is developing clothing with electromagnetic polymers that can be manipulated to change colors while being worn, allowing the user to style himself depending on mood or whimsy (according to an April report in New Scientist).

Creativity in Perversion: Paul Daniel Metcalf Jr., 39, was arrested in Asheville, N.C., in April and accused of two incidents in which he allegedly doused female department store shoppers with his semen, at least once (according to a store's surveillance camera) by spitting it at a woman through a straw.

Children's Hospital of Orange County (Calif.) announced new rules to guard against wrong-site surgery after a January incident in which doctors opened up the wrong side of a child's skull to remove a brain tumor, only to realize, after finding no such tumor, that it was on the other side. (According to the surgeons, they merely sewed up the first site and proceeded to the correct side, without complication.) (2) Dr. Mary Ellen Beatty was suspended and fined $20,000 by the Florida Board of Medicine in April for a wrong-finger surgery, her third wrong-site error in five years.

Latest serendipitous injuries: In March, Donald Batsch, 54, was shot in the abdomen during a robbery in Bakersfield, Calif., but during surgery, doctors discovered a tumor that surely would not have been identified until much later. And in Southampton, England, in March, college professor Ronald Mann had a heart attack while driving, and his car smashed into a tree, but his body's banging against the steering wheel acted like a defibrillator and restarted his heart. (Doctors said that if the car had had an airbag, Mann would be dead.) And in February in Altamonte Springs, Fla., Ms. Arnie Fairclaw fell, broke her leg, and was taken to a hospital; later that night, a drunk driver lost control of his truck, which rammed her house and smashed into the bed where she would have been sound asleep.

NOW THIS IS GREAT!!!!
Latest serendipitous injuries: In March, Donald Batsch, 54, was shot in the abdomen during a robbery in Bakersfield, Calif., but during surgery, doctors discovered a tumor that surely would not have been identified until much later. And in Southampton, England, in March, college professor Ronald Mann had a heart attack while driving, and his car smashed into a tree, but his body's banging against the steering wheel acted like a defibrillator and restarted his heart. (Doctors said that if the car had had an airbag, Mann would be dead.) And in February in Altamonte Springs, Fla., Ms. Arnie Fairclaw fell, broke her leg, and was taken to a hospital; later that night, a drunk driver lost control of his truck, which rammed her house and smashed into the bed where she would have been sound asleep.

People Who Shouldn't Have Played with Matches: (1) An unnamed man in his 80s, whom neighbors said "hated everybody," was killed in Downey, Calif., in January after attempting revenge by putting an explosive in a neighbor's home but accidentally setting his arm on fire, which then set off his bomb. (2) A 49-year-old woman died in a fire in Milwaukee in January when, trying to get her boyfriend's attention, she stood angrily beside his bed and flicked lit matches onto his sheet-clad body, until a fire started. She was eventually overcome with smoke, but the boyfriend and the five others in the house survived.

Wal-Mart worker finds man glued to toilet
20-year-old bangs on wall to attract attention, is treated and released

SALISBURY, Md. - A 20-year-old was found by a Wal-Mart employee in the bathroom Sunday night after he sat down and was glued to the toilet seat.
The man, whose name was not released by police, was taken to the hospital late Sunday night, said Lt. Cheryl Rantz of the Salisbury Police Department.
"The man had gone into the bathroom and sat down," she said. "He was banging on the wall when the employee came in."
Rantz said the man was treated and released.

QUESTION: WAS IT SUPER GLUE? DID HE DO IT OR DID SOMEONE ELSE?

EVER GET BEHIND THOSE PEOPLE AT THE BODAGAS:

Man, 81, enjoys lottery scratch-off streak
Good fortune follows death of wife, who had scoffed at his lottery habit

WATERLOO, Iowa - Some call it luck, but Keith Selix knows better. The 81-year-old Waterloo man has won three big lottery prizes since last year — a streak he believes would normally be impossible.
But since his wife died in February 2005, the man's fortune has mysteriously changed.
"I'm still thinking that I'm being led from up above," said Selix, a retired John Deere machinist who spends about $200 a week on lottery scratch-off tickets. "I'm firmly in belief of that."

Ironically, Selix's wife had often scolded him for wasting his money on the "those cotton-picking tickets."
But Selix kept scratching after his wife's departure, and he has since cashed in three winning tickets totaling $81,000.
Selix's latest win came late last month and included $30,000 from the "Wild Crossword" confetti instant-scratch game. He also won $30,000 in June playing the "Wild Crossword" lizard game and $21,000 in September playing the "Double Blackjack" instant-scratch game.
The odds of winning the grand prize in either "Wild Crossword" game is 1 in 89,775, according to the Iowa Lottery. The odds of winning the grand prize in "Double Blackjack" is 1 in 119,700.
A rarityJoe Hrdlicka, the Iowa Lottery's vice president for marketing, couldn't guess the odds of winning three times. Repeat winners are pretty rare, he said, "but it does happen."
Selix said he hasn't grown bored of winning yet. After discovering his latest jackpot, he just about fell out of his chair.
"I'll tell you, I was sitting here at the kitchen table and the only one I could tell it to was the three dogs," Selix said. "They knew something was up."
Selix has used most of his winnings to remodel his home. He has a new kitchen, with new cupboards, appliances and ceramic tile. He's put vinyl siding and new windows on his house. "And now I'm going to start on my bathroom and living room," he said.
Selix plans to continue playing, though the chances of getting struck by lightning are greater than his chance of winning a fourth time. According to the National Weather Service, there is 1 in 3,000 chance of lightning striking someone in an 80-year life span.
Selix has never been hit by lightning, and "that convinces me I'm getting help from upstairs."

ODDS OF WINNING AGAIN?